Me First No Longer

Me First No Longer

Lately (the last month to 6 weeks) I have been totally unfocused and really unmotivated…from everything, home and church and all life in general. This is not like me to go this long of a stretch in this mindset and it almost scared me. I actually thought I was depressed, I blamed the devil for tempting me, then I blamed the fact the holidays cost so much money we don’t really have, then I blamed the weather…I even blamed God.

I started reading through Joshua and discovered 2 big verses (they were always there, but just really stood out to me this time)…Joshua 1:6-7 and 3:5 (I will let you look them up and read them for yourself!). The first one is God speaking to Joshua encouraging him that he was capable of leading the Israelites after Moses died and the second was Joshua encouraging the Israelites as they were about to cross the Jordan and enter the promise land.

At the same time I was reading this I have really been challenged with something in my life that God is really making clear to me. I am pretty selfish. It’s true. I am a pretty independent person…always have been for some reason. That is a good quality most of the time, but it also can be a hindrance as well. Because of this I have decided to put me first no longer in the following areas…

1) My marriage – Maybe if I put it in writing I will follow through with totally treating my wife like a queen and be the supportive and leading husband I need to be.

2) My kids – I need to play with them more, pray with them on a deeper level, and enjoy them more…because they are only home for a little while.

3) My ministry – I need to share more of the load with this amazing youth & children’s team and not have to be “up front” every time doing it all. I must become less.

I’m reading over this and it kind of sounds depressing. I’m not intending it to sound that way, I’m intending it to be a challenge for me to become less so Christ can become more in my life. I really believe that God is trying to raise the bar in my life and I am still standing on the ground and staring at the bar instead of going for the goal HE has set for me in my life.

So many amazing things are going to happen in my life in 2011. My oldest graduates 8^th grade and I am so proud of Hannah and the woman of God she is and continues to be. I also get to welcome child #3 into the Johnson family in June and I am so excited about what amazing blessing God has in store for our family of 5!

I hope this helps someone as they are on their spiritual journey. It sure has helped me as I write this. I love my family and I am committed to leading them as I allow Christ to lead me. I also deeply love Mt. Gilead Church and am committed to being a faithful leader to the church and the youth & children’s ministry.

Thanks for reading!