Parenting

I just watched a news story about tracking your teenager. They were talking about using tracking devices that watch every move your child makes. There was even one family who spent money to put 5 (yep, that's five!) camera's in the car they drive so they always know what is going on! What? Are you kidding me?

Will our kids make wrong choices? Yes. Will they sin? Yes. Are we doing enough as parents to help them before they become teens to have the tools they need to make those positive choices? Parenting your teen begins when they are born. We set boundaries, we build trust, and we realize that there are times we must be the parent, and there are times we can be their friend. I have seen too many instances where teens and preteens are left to roam and do activities that they are not prepared to do. Dating at 16? What if they are not mature enough? So, what is the right age? The right age is however old they are to handle the responsibility. Driving with friends...same deal, when they are old enough to handle the responsibility. I am not a parenting expert by any means...my oldest is only 12, but I have been in youth ministry for over 15 years and I feel that helps me make choices in how I raise my kids...along with how I was raised.

So what is the secret to a good relationship with your teen and feel good about letting them go on their own and make their own choices? It all comes down to TRUST...mutual trust.

T -- Time. They may not acknowledge it...but kids want you to ask about their day. If you don't have time to talk to your son/daughter about their day...you need to cut some things to make time. This is a habit that must start young and always continue...you will always have a job, hobbies, etc...but you only have 18 years to mold and shape the person God gave you to specifically raise up to be great!

R -- Relationship with God. What are you doing to bring your son/daughter closer to Christ? Your teen needs to see you in church. Your teen needs to see you model the church the rest of the week even more!

U -- Unconditional Love. Your kids need to realize both verbally and non-verbally that they are loved, cherished, and valued. Especially from dads. If your kids don't hear this from both mom and dad often...they will hear it from someone else, and you probably won't like the results!

S -- Safety. Your kids also need to know that they are safe with you. They need to know you will protect them. They also need to know that you will be a safe person to communicate with. Open communication with your teen begins when they are young...but it's never too late to start.

Touch -- Teens need to have parents (yes, dads...even you!) that will hug them, give them a kiss, and verbally tell them that they are loved. Positive touch is valuable in building a lasting and trusting relationship with your kids.

Again, I'm not a parenting expert. I fail a lot. I also know that I love and value the relationship I have with my girls. We don't need tracking devices and video camera's to know where our kids are...we need parents being parents setting rules and boundaries with their kids. Trust...there is no other way!

Matt