Hard Look Back

For me, 2009 has been one of the best year's in a long time. As I begin this blog it may not seem like it, but I wouldn't trade the experiences of 2009 for anything.

I was involved in a youth ministry here in Olney for over 3 1/2 years and it was going well. We had around 25-30 Jr. High & High School students on Wednesday nights, around 15 on Sunday nights (the entire church only had around 20 Jr. High & High School students total!). Our youth were growing spiritually and there was a team of adults that were joining in giving their energy to the youth there.

Then, on August 1st everything came crashing down. I never in a million years ever dreamed that I would be fired, not because I thought that I was above that, but because I have always had this thought that church workplace was different. Pastors only get fired because of immorality and really bad stuff...not because of personality conflicts or other "petty" things. I was wrong.

I did make some mistakes, however, as I was in charge of a youth financial account that I did not keep any receipts for and the bookkeeping was not done properly. Did I deserve to be let go? No. Was that church and myself a good fit? Definitely not.

I spent the next week after being let go being dean of 2nd Jr. High church camp. I can honestly say that I do not remember much of anything about that week. I spent the next couple of weeks in hiding. Not out of guilt...I did nothing wrong, but out of shame. It's humiliating enough to be let go from your job, especially when you are supposed to be the financial caretaker of your home. We decided to try out Mt. Gilead church the next Sunday...we went to church and left, which is exactly what I wanted to do. I barely even wanted to go to church, in fact, I really only went because I didn't want to let the girls know how much emotional pain I was in. I spent the next couple weeks basically sitting in my house doing nothing.

I finally started sending out job applications from Evansville IN to Fairview Heights IL. I sent an estimated 30-40 applications...not for ministry, but for anything. I was done with ministry. Not one phone call. Nothing. The day after Labor Day I finally decided to do something that I should have been doing all along...for the first time since August 1 I opened my Bible and began to pray again. A couple days later I got a phone call from 2 different churches to be their youth minister. I reluctantly decided to pursue the idea. A week later I was approached by Mt. Gilead Church, where we were still attending, about coming on staff. We prayed about it and let God open and close doors until it was very clear that Mt. Gilead was where we were meant to be.

I began serving on staff at Mt. Gilead on October 4th. My salary is a little less than $500 a week less than what I was making, Darla is working the same 3-4 days at the hospital she has done since June. Through all this time it looks amazingly like we are going to finish the year (man, I have tears as I write this!) with Christmas bought and all our bills current for the first time in our marriage!

"Do not let your hearts be troubled, Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

I love Mt. Gilead. I truly (along with God, of course) credit this place with saving my life, spiritually speaking. Without the love, grace, fellowship, and unity in this body of believers I don't want to think about where I would be in my walk with God. Trust in God...HE will never let you down!

Love, Matt