I Don't Babysit

     This is a little bit of a "soapbox" blog today.  Why is it when a child is home with mom they are called "stay at home mom" or something else that is positive, but when a child stays home with dad it's called "babysitting"?  Here are my thoughts on this topic...

     I don't babysit my kids.  I don't get paid for taking care of them.  I don't want paid...never have, never will.  When a child is born it takes a mom and a dad to raise them in the way that God intended.  This is why premarital sex and living together and having kids before you are married are not the way God intended.  When I  am home with my kids I am simply being dad who is home hanging out with my son/daughters when my wife works.  I am so blessed to have a "job" where I can set my own schedule and work from home on days that Darla works so our kids can have the most time with their parents and save money for childcare.

     I really believe that just about anyone can be a father.  It doesn't take much.  It does take a lot to be a dad that our kids need.  The role of mom is well documented, but just ask an adult about the relationship they wish they had more positive experiences with or cherished more...most of the time it's dad.  I don't hear many kids say they wish their mom spent more time with them, told them they were proud of them, kissed or told them they were loved.  It is their dad that they wish those words had come from.  Dad.

     This is a call to all dad's out there to spend time with your sons and daughters, tell them you love them, tell them they are valuable.  Remember that if you don't, someone else will and it will lead down a road you do not want to go.

     I don't babysit.  I simply try and do what God commands and that is to be the person that leads my kids to know Jesus, to know that they are treasured by me, and to train them in the ways of God so that when they leave my house they will not depart from it.


   

Salvation

     I grew up in the church.  My best friend was the preacher’s kid.  I grew up going to church with my brother and sister and mom.  When I was younger I always wanted to be in church as a family.  My dad went to church if there was nothing better to do or if he felt like it…pretty inconsistent (a great transformation happened a few years ago and my dad is a committed follower now and faithfully serves his church.  Great testimony!).  

     I knew at about 9 or 10 that I needed to accept Christ into my life and be baptized.  I knew it but put it off.  I put it off because, believe it or not I was scared to death to be in front of people.  I also wanted my dad to be there, but I didn’t want him to come to church just because I was getting baptized.  I wanted him in church because he wanted to be there. 

     On August 31, 1986 it happened.  We all went to church together as a family.  My mom was in nursery and usually my dad didn’t go if she was in there…all the more that it was God’s time for me to do this.  It was also our youth minister, Rich Weirsbe’s last Sunday at Little Prairie Christian Church.  I loved going to kids church with him and his wife…they made learning about Jesus fun.  The invitation song was “Trust and Obey” and I felt my knees buckle and my heart started racing.  I moved into the aisle and down I went.  It was the greatest day of my life…the day I accepted Christ as my Savior and was baptized.  Salvation never felt so good!

     I have had a lot of people in my life that made such an impact on me.  I can remember Sunday School teachers like Betty Saxe, Betty Bunting & Lola Summers, Donald & Dorothy Woods, Lorna Mann (who told me almost every Sunday I would be a minister…it’s your fault, Lorna!), and Jack Kelsey.  I remember youth group with Kevin & Pam Wiseman and Danny & Lana Newport…those were some great times!  I also remember cool youth ministers that impacted my life like Matt Sutman & Terry Harmon (the reason I am in youth ministry).

     You want to know something really cool about that day, 25 years ago on August 31, 1986?  On that very day in Potosi, Missouri my wife was making the exact same decision!  We did not know each other until her first day at St. Louis Christian College in 1992!  We have been spiritual soul mates from day one! 

     Accepting Christ and making him the Lord of your life is the single most important decision you will ever make.  It affects all of your other decisions and dreams for the rest of your life.  How you will treat other people, who you date and marry, where you go to college and what career you choose, how you raise your kids.  Everything is all tied around this decision.  So…have you made that decision?  Here is how…

Realize you have sin and need a Savior – Sin is anything that we do that breaks one of God’s commands.  We find in Romans 3:23 that we all sin and in Romans 6:23 that we deserve to be separated from God because of our sin.  We also notice in Romans 5:6-8 that Jesus died for our sins at just the right time so we can come to him to be clean.

Choose to accept Jesus as your Savior and be baptized – Romans 10:9 says to confess Jesus as Lord with your mouth.  Confess him as the captain of your ship.  Confess him as being in charge of your every decision.  Confess and acknowledge that you are nothing without him and are willing to totally surrender to his Lordship.  Acts 2:38 is our response to our confession…to repent and change our ways and be baptized.  Baptism is part of the salvation process and is necessary to wash us clean and it also symbolizes our death to our old self and raising to a new life with our Lord Jesus.

     I have never regretted making that decision to bring Jesus into my life at 13 years old.  I have regretted waiting until I was late high school and even early college to really be serious about my faith, however.  If you have not given your life to the one who gave his life for you, do so today.  I am always available and would love to talk to you about the greatest decision of your life.  Thanks for reading!

Discipleship

One of the most important responsibilities of the believer is to “go and make disciples” as Jesus lays out in Matthew 28:18-20. If we are not making disciples we are failing at our job as Christians. What does it exactly mean to make disciples? How do we make disciples?

Disciple making is about relationships. Making disciples means we are intentionally seeking out others to come along side and walk the journey of faith together. So many times in the church I see the church being about baptizing and forgetting about making disciples in the process. If all we are doing is baptizing, then maybe we need to look at our egos and make sure we are not just about numbers of baptisms. It is a travesty to leave someone at the baptistery because we are out trying to dunk the next one. So, what does discipleship look like? Here is a suggestion…

1. Discipleship is mentoring – Making disciples is really about mentoring a younger believer in the faith. Age does not matter…it’s not about younger in age, it’s younger in the faith. I think we really miss an opportunity when we do not immediately begin studying and praying and leading those who make salvation decisions. If we help lead someone to Christ, it is also our job to follow up by helping them in their walk with the Lord so that they can go and make disciples…it’s a chain reaction.

2. Discipleship is encouraging – As we mentor and make disciples we need to remember that it is our job to encourage. New believers will fail…just as you and I will. Encouragement is somewhat of a “lost art” in our “what have you done for me lately” culture, but it is crucial that we do not miss the opportunities to do so early and often for a new believer we are helping. Encouragement is being there when they fail, believing in them when they are trying something new, and being their biggest fan when they succeed. Encouragement is essential to making disciples. Don’t miss it.

4. Discipleship is follow-through – Discipleship takes time and it is hard work. Discipleship is also very time-consuming, especially in our self-serving culture we live in. I think that is why Jesus put a high priority on discipleship in Matthew 28. One of the last things Jesus told his followers was to make disciples. He didn’t want them hiding out any longer, and he sure didn’t want them to think their job was done and have them go back to their jobs and lives they left behind. Jesus placed a priority on discipleship because he knew they would change the world. When you keep your commitment to making disciples you are helping change the world.

I hope this helps as you think about discipleship. I would recommend that as you meet with someone in a discipleship setting that it be a one-on-one setting, or a group of no more than 3-4 of the same gender. This elevates the importance of the relationship with the person you are discipling and shows the importance of what is happening. It is also easier to share when the setting is more intimate. I also would recommend that you only disciple 1 or 2 people at a time, or if you do a group only do 1 group…many more than that takes too much time and cannot be done well.

The important thing is not how many you are discipling, but who are you discipling? Who are you pouring your life into so that the message of Christ will be spread all over the world? Discipleship…yeah, it’s that important. Thanks for reading!

Accountability

We hear the term, accountable or accountability a lot it seems, but what does it really mean? What does true biblical accountability look like?

Matthew 18:15-17 says:

15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.

So, how does this really look in our day to day life? First, let’s define what accountability IS NOT…

1) Accountability is not pronouncing judgment – Holding someone accountable is all about calling out a sin or behavior in another believer. It is not about judging someone’s relationship with God or salvation.

2) Accountability is not about being right or wrong – Accountability is all about enforcing a standard of living that God has laid out in scripture, not about someone being right or wrong.

So, what is accountability then and how do we do it?

1) Accountability is about relationships – Everyone responds to being held accountable based on the level of relationship with the person who is holding us accountable. This does not mean you cannot call out sin or behavior of a believer if you do not know them, just know that the less they know you the less likely they are to respond the way you intend…why Matthew 18:16 is important. If you do not know the person well, get to know them and find out who does know them well and have them go with you.

1) Accountability must be done in love – If you care about someone enough you will eventually need to confront and hold them accountable. When you do this it must be done in love. Saying things like “I care about you and am concerned about _____” is better than condemning or being derogatory towards them…and it will go farther to doing the next item on accountability.

2) Accountability must be about restoration – If your intentions to holding someone accountable are not about restoring a relationship or keeping a relationship, your intentions need to be checked before you confront. Caring enough to confront or hold someone accountable means you care enough to keep the relationship.

3) Accountability must have follow through – You are not done once the confronting is over! Check back on the individual and see how they are doing and pray for them. If you are not willing to follow through, find someone who can or the accountability will be done in vain.

I hope this helps as you go through your life as a Christian. This is something that Christians don’t do real well, mostly because we don’t totally understand how to do it well. I have had people hold me accountable and it was more like a verbal firing squad, but I have also had people hold me accountable who were very much into the Matthew 18 model and sought to have our relationship restored or continued.

Thanks for reading!

Worship: Part 2

Worship: Part 2

In my last blog I wrote about the meaning and definition of worship. I want to write about how I began thinking about this topic.

I was listening to some praise songs while writing my sermon last week when I found myself singing along with one of the songs (which is not unusual, and no one was around to hear me! J), when I realized something…these words are really shallow!

I began looking at some of our other more popular “worship” songs and found that, for the most part, this is true across the board. Our songs have become more of a recognition for words to a warm and fuzzy Jesus instead of a direct adoration of reverence and fear for the ONE who created us. This is not totally true across the board, per se, but more of a trend that I think we need to be very careful about.

When we offer up songs of praise to our Heavenly Father, our words should be a reverent respect of a God that is Omniscient, Omnipresent, Sustainer, and Creator…not our best buddy. Don’t get me wrong, God desires to be our friend…but He also desires to be our Father, which includes discipline and correction when necessary.

As we sing our songs of praise let us make sure we totally understand what we are singing, and make sure those words are being spoken to the God of the Bible…and nothing else.

Thanks for reading!

Worship: Part 1

Worship: Part 1

One of the most controversial topics in any church is worship. One group says we only sing songs with no music whatsoever, another group says piano and organ only, another group says only old hymns, another says mix it up, yet another says out with the old and in with the new.

So what is real worship anyway? I cannot find in any definition of the word worship anything about a song service. Worship is a lifestyle devoted to something. Worship is more about who you are than what you do. Think about it…when you say that was a good or bad worship service, what are you really saying? You are saying that you did or did not like that songs that particular Sunday. Have you noticed that some people are obsessed with different things…work, gambling, addictions, hobbies, etc…? That is what they worship. We have allowed satan an open door as the church to divide Christians based simply on preference.

We sometimes call the person on stage on Sunday morning the worship leader. Interesting, if worship is a lifestyle devoted to something, then how are they leading me in worship while in the church building? Worship is done outside the walls of the church. Just a thought.

Here are some observations about our church Sunday song service (if you really want to insert worship service, I guess I will let ya this once J):

1. The song service should reflect the diverse audience in the congregation – All hymns will alienate some, all contemporary will do the same. The church leaders should spend a great deal of time praying and communicating to establish a sense of trust in the congregation that all is done to make sure everyone’s spiritual (not emotional or felt needs) needs are met. This is where I have noticed some churches fail. Church leaders decide what is going to happen (with good intentions and in good faith, and even through lots of prayer), but fail to keep the congregation informed if the changes are a great shift in what they are used to.

2. The song or songs that meant a great deal to you may or may not do the same for everyone – The songs my parents grew up with are not the same ones that mean something to me today, and the songs that mean the most to me will not mean as much to my kids or grandkids. We must be ok with this.

3. Worship is a discipline of spiritual maturity – You are devoted to something…it’s guaranteed. Is it God? Does your relationship with God affect everything you do…at work, school, at home, raising your kids, dealing with others? Worship is a lifestyle devoted to something. Worship happens outside the church walls.

So, what is the point of this blog? The point is that one of the number one reasons a person leaves a church is the Sunday morning song service. This should not be. If the message of the songs we sing on Sunday morning are directing the individual to the throne of God, then the style or how it is sung is of secondary importance.

Thanks for reading, and as always I would love to hear your thoughts!

Living in your sweet spot

Serving in your “Sweet Spot”

Earlier this month my wife, Darla, was ordained as a deaconess at Mt. Gilead. I am so proud of her and her willingness to be used by God in this way. This level of commitment is only going to strengthen our family and our marriage, and I can’t wait!

January 12, 1997 is when I was ordained into Christian Ministry at Little Prairie Christian Church. I remember my friend, Danny Wolford, preached the ordination sermon and there were so many people there to celebrate this occasion in my life.

I remember when I was in Bible college and preparing to be in full-time youth ministry (I had done part time ministry from 1993-1997) having a set of goals and dreams that I wanted to accomplish in ministry. 1) I wanted to write a book, and 2) I wanted to be in a “mega church” youth ministry.

I sort of came to the realization a few years back that I was going to “settle” for being a youth minister in a small town in southern Illinois. This realization convicted me to the core. YOU NEVER “SETTLE” FOR WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO!

Southern Illinois and small town youth ministry is a different calling. The mindset and culture is different than big cities, metro areas, or inner-city…but people are the same wherever you go. I love where God has placed me and would not change it for anything. Here are some realizations I have come to over the years:

1) God calls you. God has a call on the lives of everyone and His call is on your life. God is depending on you to do something for Him, but it is up to you to answer that call.

2) Gods call is specific. If you look throughout scripture you will find that everyone that God called (Abraham, Moses, Samuel, etc…) had a call that was specific, whether it was to a specific place or people, God was clear in his vision for their lives. God is clear on what he wants to do in your life, too. I think sometimes we don’t hear or see Gods specific call on our life because we have something different in mind and we see what we want clearer than what God wants.

3) Gods call is life-changing. When you answer the call of God on your life to serve and minister where he wants you to be, and to the people he wants you to be with…then you are living in your sweet spot! There is nothing like a basketball hitting nothing but net, there is nothing like the sound of a baseball hitting just the right spot on the bat, and there is nothing like being exactly where God wants you to be doing just the thing God wants you to do!

Thanks for reading!